HP Drabble Repository
by Beast of the Sea
Summary: Various drabbles about Harry Potter characters.
1. Prewedding Advice NevilleHermione

**Blanket Disclaimer: **J.K. Rowling owns Harry Potter and all related characters, settings, plots, etc. I am not J.K. Rowling.

* * *

Harry advised earplugs.

Ron advised wearing a suit of armor.

Lavender Brown advised divorce.

"But I'm not even married to her yet," he said in confusion.

"There's no such thing as doing it too early," Lavender insisted.

* * *

Ginny reminded her to treat him well.

Seamus reminded her to be understanding if he wasn't quite right, after all that had happened.

Luna reminded her to respect and honor the Heliopaths and not offend the Humdingers.

"Even if they're not Blibbering," she cautioned. "_Especially_ if they're not Blibbering."

"I'm sorry – are we still talking about the same thing?" Hermione asked in bewilderment.


	2. Very Protective vagueGinnyLuna

"Ooh, yes," Lovegood said serenely to anyone who asked. "She's very protective."

Some disgruntled Ravenclaws would gladly have told Lovegood that wasn't how any sane person pronounced "psychotic". One boy, even after a year of Weasley chasing down Lovegood-harassers, tried to steal some of Lovegood's things, as had been the end-of-year tradition. He ended up arriving at the end-of-year feast dressed only in his knickers and a lovely patchwork of bruises, courtesy of an irate Weasley. When asked if she felt any remorse over this, Weasley replied, "Now that I think about it, I shouldn't have left him his knickers."


	3. Walk ins AlbusGellert

The first time, Ariana walked in on them.

The second time, Miss Bagshot walked in on them.

The third time, Aberforth walked in on them.

The fourth time, a goat walked in on them.

The fifth time, Doge's owl flew in on them.

The sixth time, the room they were in fell in on them, courtesy of Ariana.

The seventh time, the Peverells' ghosts materialized and began hurling curses at those who would desecrate their grave. Two of them, at any rate – Ignatius only leered, saying he liked to watch.

There was no eighth time. Albus took vows of celibacy.


	4. The truth about the Peverells

All you know about the Peverell brothers is a lie.

The truth is:

Antioch's part has been cleaned up for children. His "combative" personality and fondness for "duels" are euphemisms. Evidence for this can still be found in the Elder Wand's love for strong, dominating men.

Cadmus actually developed the Resurrection Stone to steel him for suicide. That the specters are illusory has been lost to time; that they always urge the user on to death has been lost to willful ignorance.

Ignatius's motivation for the Cloak was sheer voyeurism. While the Potters descended from him… so did the Skeeters.


	5. Not Real

It's just a dream. He is perfectly sane (despite what the inferior believe), and he knows it's just a dream.

The cell in the tower is not real. The too-close walls are not real. The pacing back and forth, the loneliness, the soul-rending boredom, none of that is real –

He wakes up and clutches Albus in the middle of the night, feeling the warmth and solidity of human flesh beneath his hands; Albus, night after night, reassures him that he only had a nightmare –

It isn't real, it won't be real, none of it –

_(all of it)_

- is real.


	6. History Repeats, implied ASPSM, ADGG

_History…_

"What do you say, Albus?"

It was as if, as in a dream, the world was echoing a memory he had never had: the cheerful proposal, the smile that could light up a life, and, though he wasn't the same one, couldn't be the same one, the golden-haired boy –

Albus Severus shook his head, the hallucination of recollection vanishing, and took the boy's hand. "I think we'll be great friends, Scorpius Malfoy," he said, smiling back.

"You think? I _know_ we'll be the very best of friends," said Scorpius earnestly, flushing with happiness. "Now come on, let's go…"

…_repeats._


	7. Essentials of Wandwork

For the edification of the readers, I will now explain the essentials of wandwork.

Wandwork Lesson One: It's not the size of the wand, but rather what one does with it.

Lesson Two: Flexibility is of the essence.

Lesson Three: Always be willing to press the advantage; doing so often determines who comes out on top.

Lesson Four: Penetrating into your opponent's depths gives one an invaluable advantage in controlling the duel. (I meant his _mind_, Aberforth – do stop giving me that look.)

Lesson Five: Never underestimate the power of a skilled tongue.

Lesson Six: Always wear socks.

-Albus Dumbledore


	8. Tomb Raiders, implied GinnyLuna

"Well, I do think domestic bliss would give you a terrible rash, as you said," Luna said.

Ginny peered around the ruined passageways nervously. "Yeah, but…"

"And isn't this so much more exciting?" Luna asked, inspecting one dilapidated altar. "Ooh, look! This one promises boils and ingrown eyelashes to whoever is foolish enough to desecrate this shrine, which is all very exciting, but I really think I preferred the one back there, the one that swore a guardian demon would devour your eyeballs…"

Ginny chuckled weakly, wishing that she had listened to the Sorting Hat and gone into Hufflepuff instead.


	9. Second Task's End, implied HarryRon

Rita Skeeter had never had to retract a story so quickly, Hermione nearly fainted, and a random Ravenclaw third-year wandered up to them and offered her congratulations.

Harry now understood, of course, that CPR didn't involve kissing, but it was too late to change anything; besides, he was happier this way. Glancing over at Ron, he squeezed his hand; Ron, whose face seemed to have gone perpetually faintly pink ever since the Second Task's end, did not look back at him, but squeezed his hand even harder in return.

Yes, he was definitely happier with that out of the way.


	10. The Wedding, antiRemusTonks

"Do you take this, er…" The bonding-wizard paused, looking quite uncomfortable.

From the audience, Mrs. Weasley called out, "Finish it, already!"

"I know that she wants to marry him as soon as possible," her husband began, "but couldn't she wait until-"

"Don't be silly, Arthur," Mrs. Weasley sniffed. "I think the groom looks marvelous, myself."

The groom _woof_ed and started furiously scratching at the back of his ear. "Yes, his pelt is very glossy. I suppose."

"Yes, it is," Mrs. Weasley said firmly. "And I'm sure he and Tonks will have an absolutely lovely honeymoon once the full moon's over."


	11. Do I Even Want To Know? implied JPSB

"Do I even want to know?"

James and Sirius were entangled in a mess involving tremendous amounts of Drooble's Best Blowing Gum (he could tell the brand from a wrapper stuck to the ceiling), a great length of Arabic Floating Rope, a capsized potion flask, a potted plant that he soon recognized, with some alarm, as a juvenile Devil's Snare, some still-twitching Chocolate Frogs, socks, a broomstick, and, to tell from the patch of air where strands of gum should have been, James's Invisibility Cloak. They were also stark naked.

"No," said Sirius. "You don't. Trust me on this, Remus."


	12. Imperio

_Imperio. _Such a simple word. Such a tempting word. Such a pleasurable word.

_Imperio_, and he would have the control he so desperately craved.

_Imperio_, and he would no longer have to argue with those impervious to reason.

_Imperio_, and he would not have to wheedle, lie, and cheat – all but drag himself through the mud – to ensure his family's safety alone, and be prepared to trudge into that mud to ensure the safety of the Wizarding world.

_Imperio_, and all his troubles would go away.

_Imperio_, and all would seemingly be well…

And that was why he feared it.


	13. What You Can't See

What he did not see could not hurt him.

If he had ever thought it explicitly, he would have recognized the absurdity – but he turned his mind from that as well. If he denied his own weaknesses, they would not be there; if he denied Gellert's flashes of viciousness, they would not be there; if he denied his own family, they would not be there. All would be well, if only he could block out all these things vehemently enough. A difficult task, yes…

But then, Albus had always had a knack for deceiving anyone of his choosing – even himself.


	14. Angel's Face, Demon's Smile

The Dark Lord Grindelwald had a face like an angel and a smile like a demon.

Harrison Potter had never quite appreciated just how much so until now. To his left, Patricia McGonagall cried under the Cruciatus; to his right, Niall Diggory lay still against a cracked wall, obviously unconscious, possibly dead. As for himself, his wand lay halfway across the hall; Grindelwald could strike him down with ease before he could recapture it.

They had been the best of the Light in England, and now they were as helpless as children backed into a corner by a hungry dragon.


	15. Orderly Society, Dark Lord Albus

"Mercy," said Dolohov, his pitted face wet with tears. Albus looked down at him sadly, shaking his head.

"The time for mercy is past." With that, he raised his hand, signaling the designated executioner, and a flash of green light filled the room; Vladmir Doholov's corpse jerked, then slumped forward, the bindings on its arms and legs still holding it in a kneeling position in a mockery of life. Another wave of his hand, and Eliza cast _Levicorpus_ and floated Doholov's body out, then brought in the next condemned.

A tedious business, executions, but simply necessary for an orderly society.


	16. Working Out

In context, this potentially takes place in the setting of The Right Sort - so Harry and Ron, here, are in Slytherin.

* * *

"Decided to work out?" Harry asked, blinking, as he walked into the Common Room.

"Yeah," said Ron, screwing up his face as he lifted A History of Magic, Magical Drafts and Potions, The Dark Forces: A Guide To Self-Protection, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, and One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi in a teetering stack over his head. "I don't like being flattened by Bulstrode," he added plaintively.

"Get used to it, Weasley!" Millicent called out; Harry winced as the stack toppled, bombarding Ron with some quite heavy books. A pitiful groan drifted out from under the pile.


	17. Only One Thing To Do, Marauders Era

"In the course of one day, we have set a good deal of Slytherin House on fire, raided Honeydukes, and narrowly avoided detection and the resulting expulsion from school seven times over."

James looked expectantly at his friends. All three wore very solemn faces – especially Remus. "I think there's only one thing we can do…"

Sirius sighed and said woefully, looking like he was attending his own funeral, "Repeat it again as soon as possible?"

The four wizards cracked up, no longer able to keep their faces straight, and slung their arms around each others' shoulders.

"It's a wonderful life!"


	18. The 1898 Triwizard Tournament, AU

Albus had quite enjoyed the test of ingenuity in the First Task – now _there_ was a challenge one could not beat through brute strength alone. After all, surely no one would be stupid enough to charge a full-grown dragon?

De Medici exited a short time after him, muttering something about the loss of perfectly good brooms. A pity for him, to be sure. Now, it only remained to see how Grindelwald fared…

…

Where _was_ Grindelwald?

Quite a while later, Grindelwald trotted out, disheveled, singed, bright-eyed, flushed, and grinning madly. "Vell! Now _that_ vas one Hell of a First Task!"

_SURELY?_


	19. Bewwa and Siwwius

"Can I mawwy you, Bewwa?"

Nine-year-old Bella stuck out her tongue. "We're cousins, Sirius."

Three-year-old Sirius (or Siwwius, at the moment) looked up at her with his big dark eyes. "We'wuh Peuwbwoods, that's a _goo'_ thing."

She chuckled and patted him on the head. "Maybe when we're older."

"I'ww nevuh wub anudder giwuh, Bewwa!" he declared.

"That's nice."

"I'm gonna mawwy you, an' if I don', you can – you can – you can _kiww me!_"

"Maybe I will, if you're a bother."

He shrieked, running off to torment Kweachuh – _Kreacher_ – and she shook her head. What an adorable brat he was.

**Transcription of Sirius's lines for the intolerant-of-babytalk:**

"Can I marry you, Bella?"

"We're Purebloods, that's a _good_ thing."

"I'll never love another girl, Bella!"

"I'm going to marry you, and if I don't, you can – you can – you can _kill me!_"


	20. Potter Is Dead

"Harry Potter is dead. Though he evaded Lord Voldemort's grasp for far too long, he was at last squashed like the cockroach he was… For the last months of his pitiful life, he hid behind other, greater wizards and witches, but in the end ran out of luck – and bodies… Disregard any rumors that he came near to destroying me. They are nothing more but propaganda by the last of Dumbledore's followers, who, in the end, shall be destroyed like their idol… Any further questions? I thought not… Now – _yes_, the Weasley in the front row?"

"Who's that behind you?"


End file.
